I have a confession. I have been neglecting my allotment. I went up there for the first time in weeks, the other day, and, oh my, it is a sorry sight, what with the weeds an’ all. My purple sprouting broccoli has sprouted but not in the way it should have. It’s yellow, not purple. I believe it’s called ‘going to seed’. George, next door, said it might be the excessive rain. I rescued a few ‘heads’ that were the requisite colour but they were so small and piddling, I knew in my heart, they would be mocked if I were to serve them to one of my so called friends. Never mind, I tried. My leeks, however, are fine and I’ve had several leek meals. I went up today and planted my onions and three rows of carrots. While I was on my hands and knees, sprinkling my ‘Nantes Early 5’, Bob passed by in his car and laughed at me. Laughed! He wondered why I was bothering growing carrots when I could get them for 60p a bag at Sainsbury’s. I said, ‘Bob, you don’t know how many bags of carrots I eat in a week and anyway, I like organic carrots, which are rather more than 60p a bag’. That shut him up. Next, I’m sticking some broad beans in. I won’t bother with potatoes. To be honest, I found them a bit boring last year. I might, however, have another go with the broccoli (the regular kind). Please let me know if I have become a vegetable bore.