Camping’s great isn’t it? Sitting around a real fire, cooking sausages, snogging the boy in the next tent and falling out of a tree and breaking your leg. Love it. Dirk, me and the kidlets have just been to Ashdown Forest for the weekend. We had everything, a fabulously louche campsite owner, Dave, who positively encouraged us to get pissed and make lots of noise, acres of land where we could wander willy nilly, Pooh Bridge, and, wait for it, Tom Cruise at the local garage. Yes, Tom Cruise. And, according to Dave, my new best friend, he’s only 5′ 3″. Dirk says all famous people are short and newsreaders all have enormous heads. I tend to agree. When I was at the BBC a week or so ago to support the Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus in their bid for stardom in Last Choir Standing, I saw the newsreader, Thomas Schafenacker. He only came up to my middle but his head was the size of a basketball.�