Posts Tagged ‘rain’

Never trust a troll

Tuesday, October 5th, 2010

Last week I was very wet in the bottom department. This is what happened: my bike saddle was soaking up all the rain and when I sat on it, it all squelched out, pushing much moisture into my derriere. Not in itself too tragic but then I lost my mobile and then, my exhaust fell off. I took the car to a very dirty, troll-like man in a garage who wrenched the loose pipe clean off and flung it across the garage floor with a smirk. He tells me my middle end needs replacing owing to there being lots of rust but it’s ok to drive if I don’t mind sounding like a tractor. Another smirk. At this point another dirty troll-like man joins us. He has a broken middle finger which is in a sling, poking audaciously in my direction. I feel like I’m about to be shafted so I jump into my tractor and head off into the rain. Later on, I conduct a very aggressive dental health session involving some rapid flossing and a high speed electric toothbrush. The next morning, I wake to discover one side of my face is twice the size of the other and my gum is throbbing. Nasty!