Verbal Brand Consultant
and Advertising Copywriter

  • Small beds and scatting

    Tuesday, April 9th, 2013By annablog5 comments

    I’ve been in the land of cheese and novelty dildos, a land where a man in a Paisley cotton frock and cardigan can get on a tram, put a plastic colander on his head and attract no attention whatsoever . This is Amsterdam – where anything goes and frequently does. On my first night I go to Drag Central to play Deal or No Deal in a bar. Noel Edmunds is played by a…

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  • You’re nicked

    Tuesday, February 26th, 2013By annablog0 comment

    It was a dirty night on the east side of Brighton. I’d been hanging in a bar with some Swedish chick and her pooch – a scraggy canine with a shot jaw. I’d not eaten so my gut was growling and something about the bar that night was fraying my nerves. Maybe it was the weird Asian guy in a duffel coat who kept pacing up and down in front of our table, eyeballing…

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  • Dancing with lesbians

    Monday, January 28th, 2013By annablog0 comment

    Step, step, cha cha cha, step, step, cha, cha, cha. Bear with; just practising my ballroom – for I have been dancing with lesbians. I didn’t mean to – it was an accident. H, who has a Gold Medal in Rumba (from the Gay Olympics in Vancouver) invited me along to see his ‘show dance’ at the Same Sex Ball. ‘Oh, I don’t mind if I do’, says I, thinking I’d be doing a…

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  • How not to behave in an art gallery

    Tuesday, January 8th, 2013By annablog0 comment

    Another curious idiosyncrasy about the Germans – they don’t like you going the ‘wrong’ way in an art gallery. Take my visit to the Brucke Museum in Berlin; on entering I’d assumed the gait of your typical museum flaneur, ie take a few tentative steps towards a painting, stop, adjust handbag, fold arms, cock head, hitch hip and purse lips in casual contemplation, then cross legs, lean perilously to one side and at the…

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  • Ich bin eine Berliner – just for the week

    Monday, January 7th, 2013By annablog0 comment

    Ladeez und gentlemen, wilkommen in Berlin, a city of grand grafitti and decadent dog dirt, big cakes and long sausages; a city that loves to shove a stiff finger at the establishment yet tut tuts if a pedestrian crosses the road willy nilly on a red Ampelman. Other paradoxes: it’s bad form to woop like a demented banshee at the Berliner Philhamonik but absolutely de rigeur to let rockets off in the hand or…

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  • Sleeping with insects

    Monday, November 19th, 2012By annablog0 comment

    A few weeks ago, at about 4am, something landed on my head. It was lighter than a hamster but heavier than a sequin. Still half asleep, I batted if off and returned to my dream where I was making chelsea buns with Kevin Costner in the celebrity version of the Great British Bake Off.  In the morning, I found a small green stick on my pillow that on closer inspection, looked suspiciously like the…

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  • My hell in a sweat lodge

    Wednesday, September 12th, 2012By annablog0 comment

    On the final day of my Icelandic sojourn, the girls suggested we go to  a sweat lodge. Now this is not a particularly Icelandic pursuit but in the spirit of doing everything once, apart from incest and drinking your own wee, I agreed to take part. The sweat lodge was located in the back garden of a ramshackle bungalow, down a cinder path just off highway number 1 on the outskirts of Reykjavik. On…

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  • Fish heads and shredded feet

    Thursday, September 6th, 2012By annablog5 comments

    After Akureyri, we caught a boat to the small island of Hrisey. Think Hitchcock’s The Birds but without the pecking – although there were a few irritable ptarmigans owing to my rambling off-piste into their nesting area. Things to do on the island (population 120): admire the herring drying racks, go on a tractor ride with a fisherman called Ragnr, get all steamed up in a hot tub then lose your footing and roll over…

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  • Russell Crowe likes yoghurt. Shock news.

    Tuesday, August 28th, 2012By annablog0 comment

    Russell Crowe is currently in Iceland filming Noah and his Ark – the movie. Apparently, when not escorting zoo animals up and down the fjords, Russell likes cycling around town with his beard and eating Skyr yoghurt. He has not punched anyone so far. This was the shock news that hit me when I landed at Keflavik airport last weekend. It seems Reykjavik can’t get enough of bad boy Russell; in fact, they’d even…

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  • Pants on fire

    Tuesday, July 31st, 2012By annablog0 comment

    After the tear-jerking and pant-wetting that was the opening ceremony I popped down to Horse Guards for some beach ball action. Top tip: do not put your dirty knickers in your mini manicure bag because a small soldier with pimples will want to examine them in case they contain a bomb. I have never had a bomb in my pants but I guess I could have hurtled down the grandstand onto the court and…

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