Verbal Brand Consultant
and Advertising Copywriter

  • new year’s resolutions

    Tuesday, January 8th, 2008By annablog0 comment

    New Year’s Resolutions. What’s all that about? Guilt? Frustration? Mid-life crisis? When I was a wee thing (actually, I’ve never been ‘wee’. I was 6ft when I was 8!) I made resolutions in my pink pony diary that went along the lines of ‘stop biting fingernails’, ‘polish my shoes every second Sunday’, ‘snog Rob Bapty after netball (Rob Bapty being a hot bod who lived down the road and looked like the lead singer…

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  • In answer to all your queries

    Monday, January 7th, 2008By annablog2 comments

    Just to clear a few things up. Cian, I am still on the fence as to the dog/pig issue but will certainly take your comments into consideration. Sue, the ‘grapevine’ is a complex dance step, too difficult to describe while the ‘spotty dog’ is a move resembling the spotty dog in the Woodentops, hence the name. Geddit? Eddie, I would prefer not to remember my ‘waters breaking’ at Champneys’ ping pong table – that’ll…

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  • me on the tv

    Friday, January 4th, 2008By annablog0 comment

    Oh my God, I’ve made it. I’ve been on the telly. On the local news! I was going the wrong way down a one way street when a man jumped out at me with one of those furry, king-size sausages. I believe they’re called a boom. He said he was from the BBC and wanted to talk about cycle lanes. Why, oh why didn’t I have puppies or at least daffodils in my whicker…

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  • how much can anyone sweat?

    Tuesday, January 1st, 2008By annablog1 comment

    I’ve been at it again – getting hot, getting nipple rash and getting myself into a bit of a lather with complex gym equipment. I’m still not sure of what I want to do, exercise-wise. I just want the flab to firm up or fuck off. So, when the boys upstairs invited me for a ‘taster’ session at the very suave-sounding David Lloyd Centre, I decided to give it a go. The girl on…

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  • do the fandango

    Tuesday, December 18th, 2007By annablog0 comment

    Picture this. It’s early evening on a Friday night and I’m dithering. Do I make a Christmas pudding or soak my feet – or both? With a scintillating evening like this to look forward to, imagine my delight when Ian and Tristan – the boys upstairs – invite me to a jive session at our local ballroom. ‘Let’s go’, I exclaim gaily, ‘I fancy a bit of a twizzle’. First shock, on arrival at…

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  • at what age does sex go under the carpet?

    Friday, December 14th, 2007By annablog0 comment

    You know when you were young and you were watching some racy BBC2 drama (probably involving men in corduroy trousers and a cheese fondue ) with your mum and dad and brothers  – and suddenly, out of nowhere, the actors started breathing heavily and putting their hands up each other’s jumpers? You know, and then  your parents suddenly started clearing their throats and saying things like ‘bloody hell mother, what’s this tripe?’ or ‘anyone…

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  • Dog or pig?

    Monday, December 10th, 2007By annablog2 comments

    My next dilemma is whether to get a dog or a pig – not for Christmas – for life. A dog is furry but it does not have the comedy value of a pig. A pig however, would not be so nice to cuddle and might try to eat me if I inadvertently tripped over and had a funny turn in the kitchen. However, in the event of it rolling in something pungent, I…

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  • Baubled-out

    Friday, December 7th, 2007By annablog1 comment

    Oh God, it’s only the 7th of December and already the world has gone Christmas-crazy. I’ve already received four cards, two presents and have sung my first Christmas song (the one about being good or Santa will poo down your chimney – or words to that effect). I now have the annual struggle of conscience. Do I go out and buy rubbish gifts for people who will almost certainly put them in the loft…

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  • Get on the grapevine ladeeeez

    Wednesday, December 5th, 2007By annablog3 comments

    Who decided to call that twiddly thing you do with your legs in an aerobics class a grapevine? I don’t get it. I’m very surprised that in the noughties it still creeps into exercise classes, usually followed by that other stalwart, the spotty dog. I am also delighted to see that 10 years since I last subjected myself to the sweat and strain of an aerobics class, I still manage to turn beetroot when…

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  • Hello world!

    Monday, December 3rd, 2007By adminblog0 comment

    Watch this space – whilst I’m thinking…

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